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I had a conversation with a friend, which got me thinking about the authentic relationships in my life.

I’m very lucky that I have a large circle of friends, and even luckier that some of those are authentic. To me, an authentic relationship is one built on honesty, it’s where you can truly be yourself with the other person – not your public face, not your polite mode, but actual you – in a mood wearing a onesie and no make up and stropping about nothing. It’s where you can tell the other person they’re being a total idiot and they may not agree with you, but they know what you say will always come from a place of love with no ulterior motive, and vice versa.

My authentic friends have to put up a lot from me. I can be quite grumpy at times, but I’m also really fun to be around and to get the best of me you have to love the worst of me!

Something I’ve had to learn is that people should only get the time from you that they earn. It takes time and trust to build authentic relationships and it cannot be forced. However there can be ‘authentic moments’ in every day. Those moments where you meet someone and just connect and have a really deep conversation and understand each other. Those can be on a beach in Croatia in the early hours talking about the universe, those moments where you talk a stranger in a coffee shop and feel like you already know them, they can be with someone at work connecting over a shared passion or frustration.

The other important factor of course is to be an authentic person and live an authentic life. To me that means to be true to myself and living in accordance to my values and to be genuine. Modern life often means we have to stifle who we are, so it’s important to have outlets where we can be our true selves.

So look for the authenticity in every day life, as these are the moments that make life unique, special and worth living.

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Dr Sohère Roked

Author Dr Sohère Roked

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